Happy birthday to me.
Good morning my dear audience. _
Today is my birthday. Since today I am 36 years old. It is something usual for me to have birthday having people I love far away, without birthday party. But however, I appreciate people surrounding me during my birthday in my working abroad life. _
What have I done during my 36th year on this planet. Most significant achievement – is my audience in YouTube. More than 40000 subscribers on 3 channels is kind of prove that there is something I can give to the world and to the people, to make their life better. I have gained a lot of technical knowledge in visual content production. I have faced few mega shifts in my mind which have changed my view to this world. It is very different from what I was couple of years ago. _
What I understood during my 36th year: 1) I do not like to work. Work means any activity which does to deliver you pleasure and satisfaction. 2) You will never be reach so far you are working for other person. 3) I want to me reach, for one simple reason. To be free. Money is equivalence of freedom. 4) I don’t want to be reach if possession of money takes my freedom. 5) System around you, and what system wants – control you, to make you spend your life in frame. _
Difficulties I have faced during my 36th year: Heavy sickness of one person who was very close to me, 10 months of struggling with cancer, very complicated case. Hopefully for the moment job is done and this person has returned to normal life, hope that I made a good contribution to it. Lock down and isolation at Cyprus. 8 or more weeks of life when I was not talking to people, sitting alone in the apartment. I was never so lonely as during last spring. _
Disappointments of my 36th year: Due to above events I was destroyed mentally. I was asking myself: “where is my family, where is my daughter, and why I am sitting alone at Island, without my loved people, without my relatives and friends and without even people to talk, for what I was doing all these things: Money – no Carrier/promotion – no Relations – no Experience – yes, but it was gained, and no new experience coming. Job was consuming so much time, so it was very difficult to have any social life. Loneliness at Cyprus is biggest disappointment. _
Decisions of my 36th year: I have gained huge experience working in the office of shipping company, but time of changes always comes – I have resigned. Main reason: I did not use and develop my potential. I did not like abt 60% of the things I was doing as Port Captain. I have clearly understood that calculating expected costs for service, collecting quotations and being responsible for the things which I cannot control or doing some job which has no visible sense, or feeling like nothing depends from you. This office routine never ends. All above things plus my mental condition made me to take this decision. I left job without any plan – and I was happy about it. I was happy that I am free to decide, what I will do and where I will go. One more disappointment is connected with broken relations with one lady in Cyprus. Everything has its own flash point, temperature when material cannot resist and start burning. Same works for relationships. _
Something I’d like to wish for my 36th birthday: 1)Stay far away from situations when you have to do something you do not like – for money, better to be happy janitor rather than being unhappy CEO. 2) Understand that human is just a human, and human did not make a choice, what kind of human to be, smart of stupid, healthy or ill, rich or poor. Everything can change any moment. All remaining for us – to appreciate what we have. 3)Not having reason to go overseas to earn money. I was roaming too much. It is time to settle. 4) and last but not least – to meet the woman to share rest of my life. I am waiting for good person, so I should be good person too, hope I will manage to be. _
For the next 5 month or even more, I will stay on board. There is no internet, no MacDonald’s, no possibility to upload videos for you. Information is same as food. And present time this is kind of diet. Good chance to make inventory of my life and understand what path to choose, and make own choice, without somebody’s influence. _
Apart from above I can add only acknowledgements: To my mother Anna Rudova, who gave birth to me in 1984, when she was 30 years old, much younger than me now. To my father for assisting, guiding and everything. To my relatives for support, help. To my daughter Maria, hope I will manage to be a father who stays close before she becomes adult. To my friends – Not that much of them, but all special. To my audience – subscribers in YouTube, and especially for ones who reading this text on my home page blog. To people around me who was good to me, for assistance, advice and mutual support. To people around me who was no good, for making me stronger and wiser. To this universe, for ability to live, breath, walk etc. _
Capt. Tymur Rudov. 30 Sept 2020,Planet Earth, Indian ocean 0543S 08019E.